Just Enough, Texas. Population 2

"...Mona Lisa musta had the highway blues.
You can tell by the way she smiles." Bob Dylan

I was on my sales route in the Texas Panhandle when the right front wheel on my car started screeching and smoking. At the time I was 30 miles from the next town and 30 miles from the last one. Choosing FM1488 turned out to be a bad choice because it was rarely used anymore since SR 73 was built. Half hour went by and I didn’t see a single car or truck until Jim and Angel happened by and stopped to help.

 “Looks like the wheel bearing’s seizing on the spindle. If it ain’t too bad we can grease it up and get you to Mike’s Conoco have ‘im fix it right.”

Between the two of them, bickering the whole time, they jacked up the car, took wheel off, and greased the bearings so I could go on to Mike’s place. I knew better than to offer them money so I just said thanks. They followed me to Mike’s, waved at me as they drove by on their way to wherever they were going.

Mike said he had to order a new spindle and bearing set from Amarillo, so settle down somewhere ‘til tomorrow afternoon. It was near sundown when I checked into the Lazy Bones Motel. I headed over to Jackie’s Cold Day Inn, my all time favorite bar, for my usual Jack & Coke.

Mike bearing bearings

Sheriff Tom, Les, Doc Harris, and a couple of others were at a table near the door where the Sheriff could see who’s coming or going. I sat down with them and waited for Wendy to bring my drink, waved hi to Jackie who was washing glasses at the far end of the bar.

I told my story about Jim and Angel helping me out and how they had argued about every single thing start to finish.

Monday morning at Jackie's

“Jim said it’s a Ford so the bolts have to be SAE. Angel says, no, they’re metric. Jim says 5/8, Angel says 16mm. Well, I don’t know who was right. I backed away and pretended to be busy with my samples in the trunk. What an odd pair.”

Les smiled, leaned back on his chair and said, “We were just talking about them. Ever meet Jim and Angel before today?”

“All I know is what I hear in the stories you tell. They sound kinda rough, always in a jam, getting in a jam or getting out of one.”

“You know that Angel is Gina’s twin sister, the one who painted Jackie’s portrait, the one over the bar. Made it big in the art world.”

I nodded.

“Then you know neither one is real big on rules and conventions. Gina’s paintings don’t make sense to folks around here and Angel herself doesn’t make sense either. She didn’t marry until she was past 21. Most girls marry right outa high school. I mean, what else are you supposed to do?

“She had her pick, being so good looking and all but she scared the bejeesus outa the boys. No, she wasn’t the kind to wait by the phone hoping one of them would call. If she wanted to go drinking and dancing she’d call one or another and say ‘let’s go to Billy’s or to Chato’s, I’ll meet you there’. From what I can tell she had normal appetites so it wasn’t like she was holding out for Mr. Right. It was more like she was ok with Mr. Right Now once in a while. Nothin’ wrong with that, I suppose, but some folks still aren’t comfortable with it.

“Anyway, before you came in we were talking about something Jim and Angel do that nobody else around here does on purpose -- buy each other the wrong birthday gifts.”

“You mean like a prank or joke?”

Tom shook his head. “No, it’s a real thing and it makes sense if you think about it some. When Angel’s birthday comes up Jim gets a gift that he would like for himself and on his birthday Angel buys him something she really wants for herself. Doin’ it that way neither one is disappointed with what they get. It all started at Les’s General Store, I dunno know, eight, ten years ago? Tell ‘im, Les.”

“I thought he was pullin’ my leg when he told me he was giving his wife a chainsaw for her birthday. He said can you wrap it up like a gift, and here, stick this birthday card on it. I’m thinking he’s lost his mind ‘cause I know Angel’s not the type to use a chainsaw ‘specially one that heavy. Besides, that’s what Jim’s for.

“What happened was day before her birthday he blew his paycheck on beer for his buddies and didn’t have a thin dime to his name. All he had worth anything was the Stihl chainsaw he’d special ordered two weeks before. His buddies were broke, too.

“I said, Jim, can I ask you something? He said no, I’m in a hurry, be back before you close. He came back like he said, took his saw before I could say anything about the wisdom of such a gift for a woman like Angel. I expected to hear something about it sooner or later. Six months and I didn’t hear nothing about it.

“Then Angel comes in one day, says, Les, can you special order this for me? I look and it’s a sunshade, floor mats, and seat covers for a pickup. I say sure thing, Angel. The pink ‘Hello Kitty’ stuff’ll look good in your truck. You know, just makin’ conversation. She says, no, it’s Jim’s birthday gift, for his truck. Can you get it here by the fifteenth? And don’t tell Jim.”

Happy Birthday, Jim

Tom chuckled and said, “I wish I’d been there when she tore the wrapping off the box with the chainsaw in it. She’s as tough a woman as you’d ever meet but that don’t take nothin’ away from her feminine side. She dropped hints about really wantin’ something nice, like the big makeup kit she saw at Laurie’s Gift Shop. Wendy knows something about that, right, Wendy?”

“Yeah, she told me what happened one time we had lunch together. The wrapping’s off and she thinks there’s something nice for her inside the box but she sees a yellow chainsaw. She doesn’t show she’s disappointed. She pulls it out of the box and says Jim, show me how to start it. He puts in some gas, pops the choke, and pulls the cord ‘til the thing starts. It’s a new saw so there’s smoke pouring out while it warms up. Jim’s saying something but she can’t hear him over the noise. She takes the saw outside and lays the blade across the front fender of Jim’s truck, rips up paint something awful. He’s yellin’ at ‘er, she gives him a dirty look then rips another chunk of paint off the hood."

Tom stubbed out his Cheroot and said, “For most men messing with their truck is about as bad as stealing it. Angel’s a little bitty thing and if Jim had a mind to it, he knows could knock her into next week. He also knows if he lays a finger on her, she’ll be gone forever.”

Wendy said, “Naturally, the chainsaw and the ruined paint was an epic fight. They were getting into deep waters and I guess Jim was thinking they’re both gonna lose if they keep it up so he stops arguing and says for his next birthday Angel should buy whatever she wants for herself. It’s worked out fine since then, giving each other the wrong gifts every year."

Tom added, “Tell you somethin’, if it weren’t for her, Jim would be doing time somewhere for sure.”

Jackie brought a tray of fresh drinks and said, “That’s right. Most everybody thinks Angel’s a walkin’, talkin’ demolition derby and it’s Jim keeps her on the level. But I’ve seen how they get into scrapes and it’s Jim with the hair trigger.

“Angel’s a man magnet. That smile, red hair and green eyes make ‘em wanna get close to her real bad. The wedding ring on her finger don’t mean a thing to guys on the make. They work in the fields in the middle of nowhere, three weeks running with no days off, hardly ever coming in contact with civilized human beings. Those knuckle draggers don’t have a pig’s notion on how to look at or talk nice to a woman, get ‘er interested.

"Wendy, tell what happened at Chato’s with that cowboy from Lubbock.”

“Sure. I’m sitting with Angel and some girlfriends when this git leans in, says to her, ‘If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?’ Her eyes light up like five alarm fire, she cocks her head sideways then in a flash hauls off and lays a one-two slap on the guy’s face. ‘I heard that old song before, cowboy’, she says and turns away. Instead of walking away, try his luck some place else, he grabs her arm and that’s the last thing he did before Jim comes outa nowhere and lays him out cold. He did the same to two more of the cowboy’s buddies and he wasn’t finished yet. It was Angel made him stop.

"Jim doesn't mind if she talks to or even dances with other men, but if they get too familiar, he takes it to 11 in no time. Angel's done the same for him with other women but she only goes up to six, sometimes seven.”

Tom said, “Jim’s a roughneck, one of the toughest. Hell, I think those boys fight just for something to do. I heard times when fists are flying right an’ left Jim switches sides to even things up and keep the fight goin’. Used to keep count how many times my deputy or me took Jim and Angel into custody. Now, what the hell, who knows how many that is.

“Justice has been real friendly to Jim over the years. Nearly every time I’ve arrested him for fightin’ or some such, witnesses that weren’t even there swear on their dead momma’s sainted head that he was defending himself or his wife. I think it’s probly ‘cause he never hit anybody that didn’t deserve it right and proper, know what I mean? Jim’s idea of Texas justice.”

Everybody at the table smiled.

Tom gave me a sideways glance and said, “The way you’re lookin’ at me you think them two is a public nuisance, oughta be corralled and controlled? Maybe I’ve made Jim look worse than he is. Fact is, He’s never gone past simple assault. It’s only one more punch or kick that gets "Aggravated"  added to your arrest record. He’s come close, though. But I’ll tell you what, on payday when the oil field grunts come to town to drink and party, Jim’s just one of many.

“Any other day of the week he's as likely to ask you for money as he is to give you some. Money’s somethin’ he’s got or he ain’t. It don’t mean a damn thing to ‘im. Angel’s the same way. Long as she and Jim can get by, it’s enough.

“Year ago his crew set up a betting pool on the Texas Oklahoma game. Jim got the over/under dead on and won the pot. I think it was $500 or so. The deal was the winner had to buy the crew a round of beer with the winnings. So they all went to Billy’s, Jim put the money on the bar and told the bartender to keep serving his boys ‘til it was all gone. You never heard hollerin’ and yellin’ like those boys did that night.

“I was makin' my rounds looking in on trouble spots like I do. It was only 9 o’clock, still too early for any fights but I had to make a show of it anyway. I see Jim standin’ at the bar, go over to say hi. The money was half ways gone, his friends coming up, tell ‘im what a great guy he is. He waves ‘em off. I tell him the same, he says ‘Nah, don’t you get it, Sheriff? I’m not spendin’ my money. I’m spendin’ theirs. It took a little detour through my pockets, that's all.’”

Les cut in, “It’s a good thing Bobby wasn’t there. For sure them two would’ve gotten into it about Jim giving away his winnings like that. Don’t let Bobby’s fancy clothes and shiny boots fool you. He’s as tough as Jim when he has to be.”

“Who’s Bobby?” I asked.

“Jim’s brother, wants everybody to call ‘im Robert, night and day different from Jim. He made piles of money on some shady land deals, lives in Midland now, I think. Always flashing his money in your face. If you ever meet ‘im he’s bound and determined to tell you all about the money he’s got and you ain’t. In five minutes you’ll know what he paid for his trucks, his pinky ring, the hat on his head, and how much money he’s making. He’s all money all the time, never stops talking about making more."

Jackie finished wiping down the bar. She poured herself a drink, took a seat across from me and said,

"Outsiders looking those boys over would think Bobby's got it made with all his money while Jim's barely getting by payday to payday. A winner and a loser, they'd judge.

"To Bobby all money belongs to him. Your money is his money and he'll take it if he can because all money is there for him to take. Even if his pockets are full to bustin' and he can't stuff another nickel in 'em, he'll still grab at it.

"Jim, he knows something Bobby never will.”

“What’s that?”

“He knows when he has enough. Angel does, too.”