It's not polite to point

Sometime around 6 o’clock two or three days a week Les would leave his clerk in charge of the General Store and walk to “Jackie’s Cold Day Inn” for a few sips of Jack with his friend Tom. They never got stupid drunk, just got a little buzz, take the edge off the day’s work. While Les was handling customers in his store, hearing their gossip, Tom, being Sheriff, was dealing with folks outdoors doing the same. Mostly they’d trade news and retell stories they’d told before, maybe adding a detail or two to improve the telling. 

A little sip'l do ya

 Wendy, the new waitress, sashayed over bringing their drinks. As she walked away both men stared.

Len said, “She’s sure got a way about her. Flirts without being too open but still flirty. A few nights ago I was here with some friends and their wives talking over buying a new pulpit for the minister. Ben and his wife were here. Wendy does her usual ‘well, howdy boys’ routine like she does with all the men. I see Ben’s wife glaring at Wendy as she goes back to the bar. Swear to God Luann was studying her back for just the right place to drive a Buck knife between her shoulder blades. Luann’s probably not the only woman thinking that way about the girl but you can’t blame the kid for working for bigger tips can you?”

Still looking at Wendy standing at the bar, Tom said, “Lotta the young guys think she’s coming on to them specially. Coupla them are smitten but I hear she’s picky about her dates. Deputy Dudley made a play for her and failed, not her type, I guess. She says, ‘Why, Dudley, what would Flora say if she saw you and me together?’

“He and Flora been going back and forth for a while now and I don’t see her making up her mind between him and Bedford. It’s not like she’s any Helen of Troy or nothing and she’s gotta be over 25 by now. Like my grandma used ta say, it’s about time she holds her nose and picks one.

“Dudley wants to run for Sheriff when I retire. He’d make a good one. Kid’s thorough, keeps up with the new stuff in policing, once in while comes up with ideas I never thought of. Only thing is sometimes going by the book is the wrong way to solve a problem. Other night he coulda just let Rollie sleep it off in his truck and nobody’s the wiser. Instead, he arrests him and impounds the truck. I told him Rollie’s harmless. All you done is humiliate the man and cost him impound fees. He’s getting it but if he doesn’t loosen up more I might even vote for Bedford Tapscott when the time comes.”

Les looked around to see if anybody was eavesdropping. “You’d vote for Bedford Tapscott over Dudley? And what kinda name is Bedford, anyway?”

“The name comes from his great granddaddy, some kinda Civil War hero if you believe Bedford Sr. who isn’t known for giving ground to anybody. I guess that rebel blood gets passed father to son. He might make a good Sheriff. I think he’d be tough enough but I’ll have to study him some before I give up on Dudley. Can’t really tell how he would work around being a lawman sworn to uphold the laws he don’t like.”

The Sheriff finished his drink and got up to leave. “See you tomorrow, Les.” He tipped his hat at Jackie and Wendy.

Dudley sat in his car at the crossroads rubbing his knees with both hands. The small knot on his forehead hurt, too, but it wasn’t too bad. He was hoping the Sheriff wouldn’t see him ‘til he healed because he would have to explain why it hurt to walk and what about the bruise on his head? If he stayed out until the Sheriff’s shift was over he’d probably be okay by tomorrow. Just lay low, hope nobody sees him.

Flora. She was the woman he wanted at his side when he became Sheriff Dudley. Would she be Mrs. Sheriff Dudley or just Mrs. Dudley. Hell, what was he thinking? After last night it was probably be over between them, and Bedford Tapscott would have a clear field and who knows what he had in mind for Flora.

He and Flora had dated for a year and things were just warming up from chaste kissing on her doorstep to more serious stuff in his car. Not that Dudley was inexperienced with women. None of the ones he’d dated before were marriage material. They just filled his need for companionship and sex when his hormones overtook his brains.

No, Flora was exactly what his minister and his mother told him was proper wife. God fearing church goer. Innocent of mind, pure of body. So last night when she put her hand on his thigh very near his privates, he was seriously shocked. His knees jerked up and slammed into the steering wheel. A fraction of a second later as the pain fried his brain, his head came down on the steering wheel. It got worse. He couldn’t drive. Flora drove him home, helped him into his bed and left without saying a word. How do you recover from a disaster like that? He pictured Bedford hearing about it. Laughing. Making his move on Flora. It’s over. For real.

Then he thought, what if she touched Bedford the same way? Would he be as stupid as me? No, not Bedford. He’d go for a score. Flora ruined. Gone from his future.

He didn’t know Bedford wasn’t having much luck with Flora. She was 25 years old and she’d been to community college in Amarillo. There were plenty of ways to learn about the ins and outs of the world there. She’d dated guys like Bedford and knew how to keep them from getting too familiar. She liked Dudley, too. He was smart and steady if a bit uptight; the kind of uptight who stopped kids on the street, order them to pull their pants up and turn their ball caps around.

By the following day Dudley’s knees healed up enough that he could move around without wincing except when he tried to turn left or right. The Sheriff didn’t seem to notice and didn’t even ask about the bruise on his forehead. He was parking his cruiser in front of the Sheriff’s office when Wendy, out shopping, saw him and went over to say hello.

A little dab'l do ya

“Hi, Dudley. How’d you get that bruise? It’s okay, not my business, cop stuff I’m guessing. You shouldn’t go around looking like that. You’ll be all day explaining. How about I cover it up some? A bit of foundation and powder and nobody’ll see it.” She dug the stuff from her purse, a couple of dabs she was done. Then she brushed his hair down to cover that. Dudley smiled and thanked her. She said, “Nothing to it” and left. Bedford was stepping out of his iron works shop across the street for a smoke. All he saw was Wendy leaning into the cruiser and running her fingers through Dudley’s hair, grinning, saying something, walking away.

Well now, he thought, that’s something Flora might want to hear about tonight when I take her dancing.

 

EMS, a fire engine, and Deputy Dudley’s cruiser were already there by the time Sheriff Tom arrived at “Billy’s Last Stand”.  People were standing outside gawking and talking about what they saw or heard. Tom scanned the crowd quickly, nobody bleeding or hurt. Inside was a different story. He arrested Bedford, Jim and Angel, and closed the bar.

Les was already at Jackie’s the next afternoon when Sheriff came in for his afternoon break. Wendy waved hello and brought his drink. They watched her walk away.

“Funny thing. Wendy did a perfectly innocent thing yesterday morning and caused a fight 12 hours later and 15 miles away.”

“I heard about the fight at “Billy’s”. What’s Wendy got to do with it?”

“I’ll get to that in a minute. You already know about the EMS and fire truck business so I’ll start there.

“First thing I saw when I walked in was Dudley getting a splint on his knee and Bedford sitting on the floor, both eyes swollen shut, holding his right hand tight. Looking around I see Jim and Angel side hugging. Right away I think, the usual suspects, and I was right. Billy saw the whole thing, gave me a quick rundown. So I arrested Jim, Angel, and Bedford. Flora was there, too, and I noticed the only thing she was seeing was Dudley. I told her to look after him, let me know how he’s doing.

“After I got everybody in their cells I went home figuring I’d get their stories in the morning when they’ve had some coffee for their hangovers.

“Checked on Dudley this morning. He’s hurting still but he’ll be all right. Flora took him to the Emergency Room, x-rays and stuff. Nothing broken, pain killers, he’ll see Doc later.

“So this morning Bedford’s in his cell, hand and middle finger in a cast, eyes swollen and black, reminded me of a raccoon. Jim and Angel together in the other cell, sitting on the bunk leaning into each other. Hungover but nothing more than that.

“They started talking to me all at once. I shut ‘em up. I picked Angel to tell her side first.

“She said, this guy Bedford Hopscotch, or whatever his name is, gave me the finger for no reason. Jim and me were sitting in our booth talking to friends having a good time when this guy in the booth behind me says what am I laughing at. I say, a bad joke but now I’m seeing a better one. Joking, you know?

“He turned full around and flipped me off. Naturally, I grabbed his finger and pulled it back. He yelled something and was gonna hit me with his other hand but Jim got there first, hit right left, and down he went.

“I hear this crack, like snapping a twig and then a godawful scream like I never heard before. Dudley was on his back, his legs folded up tight against his chest, and his hands covering his knees. I didn’t see what happened to him but Jim saw. Ask him.”

“Jim? What’d you see? He squinted at me like the light hurt his eyes, asked me for more coffee.

“He says, yeah, I popped him good. I say, I know that, Jim. Tell me about Dudley. Why’s he laid up this morning?

“He says, oh yeah, Dudley. He was doing his rounds, standing at the bar talking to the bartender, checking if everything was all right, I guess. When the ruckus with that guy, Bedford, startled one of the waitresses dropped a tray full of mugs and pitchers. The noise got Dudley’s attention and he whipped around to see. That’s when his knee snapped. Angel’s right about the scream. I seen a lot guys hurt bad that didn’t scream like that. Spooky.

“Some woman knelt down next to Dudley, trying to help him.”

“That would be Flora, I said”

“Ok, whatever, anyway, I figured somebody had already called 911 and that you’d be along by and by so we stayed put. EMS got there first, took care of Dudley and doofus. That’s all I know.”

“Ok, Bedford, your turn.”

“Sheriff, I’m the victim. That bitch broke my finger and her boyfriend clocked me.”

Angel sprang from the bunk and tried to grab Bedford’s hair but Jim pulled her back.

“See what I mean? She’s nuts.”

“Bedford, why did you flip her off? Simple question.”

“Okay, okay. Maybe I was wrong but I was really pissed. Flora and I were on a date having fun, dancing. I had a couple of shots and figured it was time to tell her I saw Dudley and Wendy making nice that morning.

“I look at Flora for her reaction but she’s smiling, not what I expected.

“So I say, why are you smiling? You know who I’m talking about, that slutty barmaid, Wendy.

“Flora just sits there smiling some more and I say again, why are you smiling?

“Bedford, she says, Wendy’s gay.

“What the hell, no way. Ever see how she acts around men? Gives ‘em all the I’m available look.

“Bedford, she’s gay. Her wife told me. Sure she gives all kinds of signals to you guys but she hasn’t gone out with you or Dudley or any other guy. Maybe she looks easy, but you guys are the easy ones. She’s not interested in you that way but she sure gets big tips. Jackie says she makes more in tips than her salary.

“Then Bedford points at Angel and says, I’m really steamed up then I hear her laugh and bump the backrest where I’m sitting. Well, I thought she was laughing at me ‘cause she heard me and Flora talking. I turn around, next thing I know she’s breaking my finger and her boyfriend’s putting my lights out.”

“Hands on her hips Angel points her chin at Bedford, she says, you ever lie to get something you want? Bet you have. Even Jim, light of my life, lied to me first time he come on to me. Said he was a boxer. He looked it, muscles, scars and all. Later on I asked him where he boxed. He says, at Target. I put boxes in the delivery trucks. Way I see it, Wendy’s no better or worse than anybody.

“That took care of Bedford so I say, anything else? No? Okay. I haven’t decided how to charge you. I’m gonna think on it. The dispatcher will take your written statements. Don’t go anywhere.”

Les signaled Wendy for another round. He watched her walk away. “If I was 30 years younger I’d make a run at her, too.”

“I know what you mean. She is special.

"I checked on Dudley again today. Doc says his knee’s gonna heal, something about ligaments stretched. Anyway, I’m still testing him, see if he’s got what it takes to take my job, see if he knows the difference between the law and justice. We’re sitting there, me, Dudley, and Flora. I tell them what I heard at the jail. Flora’s got this little smile. So I say to Dudley I’m not sure how to handle that bunch in my jail, what do you think?

“Mind you, he’s taking pain killers so I listen close. He says, let ‘em go, Tom. Looks to me like there’s a lot of hurt feelings, but no real crime. Jim was protecting his wife. Angel was right to take Bedford on and Bedford’s an asshole, got what he deserved.

“Right then I decided when it comes time I’m gonna tell everybody to vote him Sheriff. Bottoms up, Les”